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The casual parent

There was this article in TIME last year about " Helicopter parenting", their term for the kind of parent that constantly hovers & worries about every detail in their child's developmental milestones. In my opinions, some of the other things they do are:
  1. Constantly reads parenting articles and books and follows whatever the experts recommend.
  2. Keeps up to do date on all crime statistics in their neighborhood.
  3. Starts reading ISD reports on their elementary school even before their child turns one, just to watch out for performance lapses, if so its time to move, although they did originally decide to live wherever they are for the school district.
  4. Enrolls their kids in atleast five different classes before they turn 5.
  5. Their pediatrician always sets aside extra time for them because they tend to ask many questions.
I've always felt guilty that I was never like this..Then from time to time someone in my friends circle would mention something along the lines of the above and then full blown guilt hits me. I start making some grand plans about what I should do with my toddler. Should I move her to a better "Montessori" school? Should I enroll in her in some speech class? Why don't I know about my neighbourhood's crime profile..etc etc. The problem is this "guilt phase" lasts only a few days, then I go back to being the casual parent that I always have been. I read the Freakonomics book (that the time article mentions) recently and it was like I found my inner peace. It basically said that enough studies have shown that most of this stuff doesn't matter, what your child will do in life depends mostly on decisions that were made long back - like your education, your spouse, whether you had your kids too early.

But even as I write this, I feel guilty again. Should I be working on a blog post or reading a parenting article in the little free time I have? Sigh...

Comments

  1. Harini SridharanApril 2, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    Most parents in India follow the casual parenting styles - and we all turned out just fine, didn't we? :).
    Since I have been iviewing, I have been looking up the profiles of Directors and VPs and CEOs at the various companies - 80% of them did not go to any hi-profile schools or colleges - in fact their majors in college wasnt even remotely related to what they were doing in their careers. That is another indicator into the fact that too much early-stage fussing doesnt really carry over much to the significant portions of their life.

    I dont have ANY experience with kids whatsoever, but I think the important thing is to foster an environment of growth, thatz all. And that doesnt mean forcibly enrolling the kid in 10 classes - that just means exposing the kid to whatever is possible and allowing him/her to gravitate towards what catches their interest.

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